i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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