drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
