That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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