It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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