Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
