I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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