can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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