I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
