the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
