Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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