I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
