At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I believe in your delicious
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
