No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
