I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
