If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What happened to fro yo and sex?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
