I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
