then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
