Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize