her vagine was all disorganized.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dignity is for republicans.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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