So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
