Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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