We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
