Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Of course I have a pirate flag
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
