I want to stick my p in your. b.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
