Umm I'm too high to move.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
