just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
