he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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