Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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