So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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