So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
