She said her name was "party"
Just cropdusted the office
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
pray to the hookup gods
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
