I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
