Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i drank out of a bidet.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize