So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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