Your face is a jimmy john
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
