is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
