If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
