He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
