A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
