well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
