whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
