There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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