mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
