There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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