I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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