You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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