I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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