Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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