Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
