so that wasnt chicken after all
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
